Down

train headed nowhere
a new town passes by
and disappears
into the distance

a tunnel
another light at the end
another opportunity
to hold your breath
and wait to pass through
to the other side

rain
plays its refrain
and it always sounds the same

wind
with its frets and its furor
plays with the signposts
and takes with it
all the compost

the city streets are littered
with the drifting remains of consumed things
listless stragglers
from displaced worlds
each with empty eyes
or the glow of a cigarette where their scowl should be

the sting of old memories
phantom impressions
nostalgic longing lacking context
thinks
“i’ve been here before”
but knows not where
or when

the tremors of calm silence
have tendency to
knead
and the world cries
and the neon lights scream
and the storm is a song of its own
cascading through the endless channels
of the empty cities you’ve populated in your head
gusty apparition
of a sordid manifestation
reflections of a screen and the static of existence
speckled and starlit
glistening
gorgeous madness
red
burning
impatience
disgusted with its magic
conjures molten fingers
and melts your
mundane habits

rock bottom is a feeling
not a place
and not a person
and surely not you
not now
not yet

this form will be a siren
combusts
will come alive
seethes caustic
bleeds cathartic
trusts them
why?

the sky has been heartbroken
since the day
you lost them last
and now you’re here
so mend this broken heart
let this pass

when you find it
does it ache?
trapped in the headlights of a killer’s eyes
to be powerless
paralyzed
haunted by the wordless gaze
to know
you’re already a ghost
haunting
a closed-circuit maze;
echoes on your windowsill
outlines of industrial showers
the outside world streaks and dulls
to brooding violet
and you sulk
on your side of the letters
plugged into your degausser
cannot connect
to what never was a charger

on the other side
of the uncanny valley
the space seems farther
than you would barter the rest for

you jump anyways
the bottomless pit deprives each scene of all color
and each motion forgets to be completed
the lines erase themselves
fantasy crumbles
the fragile worlds
you built
smear
like mascara
and tears

“i was lost with you
and now i’m lost without you”

shatters
all else
let this moment be over
and let me hold you
for myself

if for no one else
i have nowhere left
but down

 

JD Jurado – Malaise is an unfamiliar city, how days pass so suddenly, watching rain through a window, and being unable to connect through words alone. 

de-gauss-er verb
To remove or neutralize the magnetic field of.

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved

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