Backwoods Bloodsucker

vampire

 

numbskull millionaire nosferatu
gets less sun than he ought to
bumbling count extraordinaire
casts spells and shit on public access
chases clout
like the backwoods, barbell-lifting
son of a bitch that he is

wears beefy tees and hanes
tells the same stories each time
but with different names

who the fuck is this?
where did he come from?
and why does he keep jugs of piss
in his bathroom?
what’s the toilet’s for, if not…?
the fucker lives in the doldrums,
shits where he sleeps and scrapes mold
from his frenum like it’s no big deal
okay
then explain this

 no record
no trace of existence before 2004
and he says he’s 23
bitch please

 i don’t buy that claptrap
for even half of a second
so either clap back
or don’t
because i know who you are
and i see right through you

 no-reflection
looking-glass motherfucker

 if i catch your fang-y freak-show-looking friends around here
i won’t hesitate to drive a stake
through your brainstem
or all your friend’s brainstems,
for that matter

the next time your bad mojo
creeps into a house show
it’s quicksilver city
but we’ve got you on the guest list
regardless
and for you we’ve requested
garlic bread with extra garlic
‘cause we all know it’s your favorite

but if i’m being honest
and i mean to
i catch you stalking me at night again
and i’ll kill you

 

JD Jurado – This poem is about vampires.

fre-num noun
a small fold or ridge of tissue that supports or check the motion of the part to which it is attached, in particular a fold of skin beneath the tongue, or between the lip and the tongue

 

 

© JD Jurado all rights reserved 2019

#poems #poetry #creativewriting #mondaymadness #mondaymoods

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