Glint

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my ego as an egg
over easy
glistens yellow
yolk
breaks even
in spite of this
is eaten


my brain as a bishop
skirts
diagonal
passive battles
disinterest
keeps me
between tiles

my words
sharp tools
hardest bars
fall apart
you’ll see
when you catch that glimmer
know that’s me

jd jurado-Glint is about not being yourself all the time

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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Foxtrot

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girl alone together boy
nothing
as good as
being enjoyed

has no qualms
exhumes his palms
unwieldy and thinly-veiled
knows who
he isn’t

burning
is not a sensation
i am familiar with

not at all

she breathes smoke
with the temperance of a dragon
and she has no eyes
behind her breathing eyelids

all she has is touch
and she can feel nothing

playful souls
smoldering wistfully away
burns without passion
overrated
no flames

jd-jurado Foxtrot is a poem about lust without love

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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Final Boss Entering Its Second Phase

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i know i must have been here before
on the verge of
dying of boredom

sweet is as sweet does
abstains from each and every one
all of them
sickly ascetic
don’t touch me
your friends are all septic


we invested in new things
hazmat to peruse please
more basic than toxic
more optic than caustic
leave me on read and you’re dropped sis
i just want to fuck cause i’m honest

so out of touch
call me amish
1up your man
that’s a promise
cut me some FLAC
gimme lossless
catch these hands then connect to this node fam

just call me SHODAN
welcome to sodom
best be along, chum
the scourge has awoken
your people are cursed ones
feeble deception—
never correct ‘em
lead ‘em til kid draws slow on they weapon

then i tag ‘em
cause i’m veteran
reality’s always a headache
flexing on pests is a habit
call me hammerhead
cause i nail ‘em
when i bag chumps
that’s excedrin

Comment section is below. Please leave me a reply. I need some love.

jd jurado- The main speaker of the poem is a braggadocio who has come back from the dead.

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

#poems #poetry #creativewriting #life #Tuesdaytransformations

Empath Fatigue

fairy fake empathy
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i got what i wanted
now i wish i didn’t have it
raised to be rotten
risqué mister maverick

opaque sadist
samey when sedated
taken with the lumps
inside of gilded cages

quick and painless
prairie dog princess
aegis was a fake
so all your bark is forfeit

torque spit
cork it
make a body worthless
fork it over
so i can snap its halo

lay low
ankle biters stick to pay-phones
stake more
hate me
i’ll blow up if you say so

jd-jurado – Empath Fatigue is about someone pretending to have empathy for other people

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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Editor

Time capsule
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molten avarice denies
sacred liaison
revise
within my bosom lies
courage conjured from a lie

bicker
ticker
static
broken jack-in-a-box of magic
creates
conflates
retracted
world tour de force of habit

i made up with your atlas
the world is ours
at last

i forced us to relapse
because i couldn’t put the past behind us
now everything i see
reminds me
of a hundred better things

jd-jurado – Editor is about revising the past by reinterpreting instead of rewriting it or forgetting it. 

 

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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Dysphoria

dysphoria unhappiness
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starve on me
forget my taste
until i wring from you
every last
morsel of malaise

i am the mouth at your center
gnawing your guts
irrevocable itch
streaking charcoal when touched

your body is a battlefield
your mars
are mine
every last scrape
is a lattice
all lines
parallel
precious
perfect
symmetric

and when i said i wanted you to bleed
i meant it

jd-jurado – Dysphoria is about recognizing pain as concrete, not abstract.

dys·pho·ri·a
/disˈfôrēə/
noun
PSYCHIATRY
a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.
“adolescents with depression, dysphoria, mania, and anxiety disorders
JD-Jurado © all rights reserved 2020
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Dream Snatcher

womens eyes poetry
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forgot
how i could
touch someone’s heart the wrong way
and break it in half

it’s good for a laugh
until you know where that path leads you
and how many people you fuck up
worse than yourself

i’m type-O hell
with my old me
but i break pieces off
for the so-sos
and the no-shows
because i don’t know
how else
to communicate
that being your new self
is a hard sell

i see right through your petty eyes
ignoble crusades
and shallow disguises
the way your words deflate
when you can’t relate
and for naught
i caught the feelings you forged
(but your ideals are still boring)
and i get over colds just as quickly
still nothing sticks

i’ve come to grips with the listlessness
but i’ve got a hit list
of every two-faced pincushion
trying to get their claws in my seams
for even a minute

i don’t deserve it
i stitch the stigmas
and get on with it
and i move on
because i’m bad at being honest

JD-Jurado – This poem is about trying to be honest.

ig·no·ble
adjective
“ignoble feelings of intense jealousy”

 

 

JD-Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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#fabfriday

 

 

 

 

Damn, Bitch, I Live?

Medusa Greek Mythology
Photo by Rebel6

 

we will live forever
in the haze of better days
inside the tallest high rise
in buildings frozen gray

effete in our pointless pandering
the likes of which
allows us exist
menial
as we are
where we belong

secondhand
sedation
inebriation defeats us
stupefied forever
gaze into
medusa
serpentine seducer
replete with kinesthesia
never felt
so myself
until i gave my mind up

JD-Jurado- This poem is about ennui.

ef·fete- /əˈfēt/
adjective
no longer capable of effective action. “the authority of an effete aristocracy began to dwindle”

 

 

JD-Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

 

#Poetry #Poems #life #transformationTuesday #creative writing

Burn For Something More, You Ignominous Nobodies

poetry relationships
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score to one
nothing done
picturing me but with all my teeth gone
no offense
chasing grits
chance every encounter
when you get my half

latter end
no defense
took me forever to get it down
overpaid
no escape
credence relinquished
but all this is okay

only me
but mostly you
chewing me out
i lost the privilege to reason
when you broke me down

all of this
stupid shit
come leaking out
my ear to your chest
heart beat arrests to rhythm of sex

all of this
stupid shit
wrote it down
made me frown

come to me
suddenly
i took it for granted
then started to panic
but i always had it

next time it’s aggressive
it’s passive
move up on me
but baby i’m past it
baby i’m on it
maybe i’m gone then
took hostage for ransom
my baby is handsome
my hands are the cancer
malignant
mistaken
i took you for taken

i’m always impatient
i’m always deranged
i’m always the same then
stay away
i’m okay
at least for now
let me down

feasibly
if you’re onto me
that’s a possibly
so stay off of me
please stay off of me
if you’re onto me
then stay nothing please
then subsist on me
then act modestly
be a prodigy
be a mockery
all the same to me
maybe honestly
it’s disharmony
always swallows me
if i’m wholly me
aren’t you full of me?

can i be reprieve?
cannot be reprieve
if you’re on your knees
keep a part and leave

you’re so far
above my pay grade
but i’ll say you’ve left an impression
i’ll stay
if not for long then
another reason
that we’ll agree on

JD-Jurado This poem is about learning when to stay and when to leave.

ig·no·min·i·ous
1.deserving or causing public disgrace or shame.
“no other party risked ignominious defeat”

 

JD-Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

#poems #poetry #life #transformationsTuedays

Intro

 

From Grim to Dire, a Testimonial for Being-to-be

Hello.

I’ve been struggling.

Today I feel good (above average and not just “okay”, but able besides (and, I’m sure it goes without saying, but if you are to skim this, you’ll quickly realize that I meant “Today” as in the first day I started to draft this post)) and willing to be active, and to put myself forward without straining myself in the process.

My thoughts have been all over the place recently. I used to write letters to myself to get a foothold of what exactly I believed was the root, or “essence”, of the problems I had been dealing with during any given moment in time. I don’t remember what the last letter I wrote to myself was about. It was a long time ago. Regardless, it has always been therapeutic to put problems into words, and to put those words into writing.

I talk to myself sometimes. It’s usually because I’m being very negative or too hard on myself. It is difficult to validate to my own feelings sometimes, but it is even MORE difficult to invalidate them.

Yes, sometimes I have to be tough on myself – but it’s not me invalidating myself for no reason. When I say “invalidate” my own feelings, I refer specifically to those pesky, persistent negative thoughts that I can’t put aside. Recurring bad thoughts become problematic, and so I will ask myself, “Why do you feel this way?” (You as in I, myself) and I will answer, truthfully, because the dialogue is between myself and I.

So, conversations will typically play out like this:

“I am a burden,”

“Why?”

“I am lazy, most of what I have is unearned, and I rely too heavily on the support of others,”

“Okay. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden. You only feel as though you’re a burden. Let me ask, why do you feel that you’re lazy?”

“I am tired almost all of the time, and even when I am not tired, I lack the energy to finish everything I would like to get done.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re lazy. You should rest when you have the chance. Go to sleep early tonight. Make a list of what you have to get done tomorrow. Let me ask, why do you feel that most of what you have is unearned?”

And so, and so forth.

Eventually, the conversation resolves itself – stress is manageable because I can talk it away. I have a very good relationship with myself and I am happy that I am not as enclosed and reclusive as I once was.

Yet, there are setbacks. I am much less enclosed now, yes. I am much less reclusive now, yes, but I’ve been isolating myself lately (A/N: This section was written sometime in mid-February, 2020). I’ve been isolating myself because I’ve been struggling and there are many things I would rather not share with everyone because, to quote Kylo Ren, “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it”.

Speaking of Star Wars, have you (whoever might be reading this right now) seen Episode IX yet? The Rise of Skywalker? Can we talk about that ending? [SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS EPISODE IX INCOMING] Specifically, can we talk about that kiss between Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley in the last ten minutes of the film? Like, why was that there? Not only does it canonize Reylo and effectively retcon the last two or so movies (adding this strange rival-frenemy tension that really wouldn’t have been there otherwise) but it does so with one of the laziest redemption arcs in a series full of lazy redemption arcs (I typed this out last night but I realize now I was only referring to Darth Vader’s betrayal of Emperor Palpatine at the end of Return of the Jedi, but honestly? It’s still a pretty lazy redemption). It doesn’t make a lick of sense! The First Order annihilated five entire planets, their populations included!! You can’t just redeem yourself by doing a heel-face turn last minute (although I admit that this is what Darth Vader does in Episode VI, George Lucas doesn’t pretend Luke and Vader have this implied sexual tension between them in the last two movies just because they were mortal enemies! (I will also admit that, likely, neither characters are into incest, and Luke probably doesn’t have a thing for dudes with twenty-or-so-years-of-age-difference – but okay, imagine if Darth Vader was actually a genetically-unrelated Sith lady who also happened to be extremely easy on the eyes, too – imagine if Luke unmasks Vader and he meets this drop-dead gorgeous, now-morally-ambiguous femme fatale who has just betrayed her master to save him. Would Luke pretend the last two movies didn’t happen, or that Vader didn’t destroy an entire planet plus its population, or killed his mentor in cold blood, either? Would he go in for the kiss? Food for thought)).

A TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. Idiosyncratic Informalities                                                                                                       (3)

2. The Cake is Implied                                                                                                                   (5)

3. Who Do You Think You Are, I Am!!                                                                                     (11)

4. It’s Who You Know                                                                                                                 (20)

5. The Long Way Down                                                                                                               (21)

6. The Titanic Shadow of Charles Bukowski                                                                           (25)

7. I Want Me, More Like Me                                                                                                      (27)

8. The World is Turned Upside Down, and Now We’re Waiting for the Sun                   (31)

9. New Horizons                                                                                                                           (35)

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