Dragonfly

nature insect macro dragonfly
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

EVERY PART OF ME
IS SCREAMING OUT LOUD

but it’s over now

dragon, you’re out of time
every minutiae bears clocks of crooked sameness
all the same time
all
fro
zen
so
lid

YOU KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT
DON’T YOU

things fucking things
all thrown over other lopsided things
bears no repetition
no sameness
no repetition
no sameness

BUT I’M BLEEDING
I’M BLEEDING

out over
no
thing
caught
in
the
links
al
ter
nat
ing
con
stant
ly

there’s so much space
in the faraway place
to plant the things
you want
to see
grow

but where are you

where are you

where are you

WHERE ARE YOU

AND WHY CAN’T YOU HEAR ME
CAN YOU SEE THIS
CAN YOU HEAR THIS
DOES THIS
NEED
TO BE
REPEATED
HOW
MANY
TIMES
DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
TWICE?
HOW MANY TIMES
DOES IT HAVE
TO BE
TWICE
HOW MANY TIMES
WILL I
STAND
ON
THE
EDGE

before it all gives way
and these things don’t shift
and these things don’t mix
and these things don’t grow

“you’re the one
playing with fire,
dragonfly”

young one
dumb one
thinking out loud

“it’s rain on your parade
when it’s sun
everyday”

fuck

barely aware when i’m awake
i’m barely there
when it’s okay
i feel like everything is in circles
until it’s not

monstrous thoughts cloud this contrived thing
and it splits apart
shatters
into a thousand
disparate parts
and then it restarts

it’s again until it’s not

chasing rainbows
in forest aglow
full of impossible things

but this dragon i’m chasing
hasn’t been through here
since i went
and clipped its wings

 

 
JD Jurado – Dragonfly is about the experience required for real change to take place and how sometimes everything has to be erased and starting over before you can move forward. 

mi-nu-ti-ae noun
the small, precise, or trivial details of something

 

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

#poems #poetry #Creativewriting #Mondaymoods #goodmoringmonda

No Secret

mask
Photo by Stephan Mu00fcller on Pexels.com

i tried taking my face off today
and i guess nobody wanted to see the real me
they kept telling me to put it back on
but i’ve been pent up for too long
i need to relieve something

i tried making friends with my demons
they didn’t want anything to do with me
they’d rather wait for my mask to fall off
and i don’t know what that means for me

i found out what they meant about me
all the things i shouldn’t know
all the things i should’ve known

it’s too late to change direction
it’s too late to realign now

why don’t you just take my goddamn face off?

 

JD Jurado-  “No secret” is based on a feeling of imposter syndrome and the lingering feeling of paranoia that everyone knows.

 

JD Jurado © 2019 all rights reserved

#poems #poetry #writers #creativewriting

Down

Rain windowpane city
Photo by Sabeel Ahammed on Pexels.com

train headed nowhere
a new town passes by
and disappears
into the distance

a tunnel
another light at the end
another opportunity
to hold your breath
and wait to pass through
to the other side

rain
plays its refrain
and it always sounds the same

wind
with its frets and its furor
plays with the signposts
and takes with it
all the compost

the city streets are littered
with the drifting remains of consumed things
listless stragglers
from displaced worlds
each with empty eyes
or the glow of a cigarette where their scowl should be

the sting of old memories
phantom impressions
nostalgic longing lacking context
thinks
“i’ve been here before”
but knows not where
or when

the tremors of calm silence
have tendency to
knead
and the world cries
and the neon lights scream
and the storm is a song of its own
cascading through the endless channels
of the empty cities you’ve populated in your head
gusty apparition
of a sordid manifestation
reflections of a screen and the static of existence
speckled and starlit
glistening
gorgeous madness
red
burning
impatience
disgusted with its magic
conjures molten fingers
and melts your
mundane habits

rock bottom is a feeling
not a place
and not a person
and surely not you
not now
not yet

this form will be a siren
combusts
will come alive
seethes caustic
bleeds cathartic
trusts them
why?

the sky has been heartbroken
since the day
you lost them last
and now you’re here
so mend this broken heart
let this pass

when you find it
does it ache?
trapped in the headlights of a killer’s eyes
to be powerless
paralyzed
haunted by the wordless gaze
to know
you’re already a ghost
haunting
a closed-circuit maze;
echoes on your windowsill
outlines of industrial showers
the outside world streaks and dulls
to brooding violet
and you sulk
on your side of the letters
plugged into your degausser
cannot connect
to what never was a charger

on the other side
of the uncanny valley
the space seems farther
than you would barter the rest for

you jump anyways
the bottomless pit deprives each scene of all color
and each motion forgets to be completed
the lines erase themselves
fantasy crumbles
the fragile worlds
you built
smear
like mascara
and tears

“i was lost with you
and now i’m lost without you”

shatters
all else
let this moment be over
and let me hold you
for myself

if for no one else
i have nowhere left
but down

 

JD Jurado – Malaise is an unfamiliar city, how days pass so suddenly, watching rain through a window, and being unable to connect through words alone. 

de-gauss-er verb
To remove or neutralize the magnetic field of.

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved

#poems #poetry #writers #creativewriting #goodmorningMonday #mondaymoods

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phantom

clear close up cold cool
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

boy, it’s easy
to be a problem
to be a thorn in your side
i’m a ghost
never had to be a fight
only had to be
right there

i can feel hearts on fire
because your chest
is unbelievably warm

i’m myself when allotted permissions
and i pine for nothing
when i heel for bliss
angst is not a feeling i’m familiar with
at all

slow burn
hurts my mind
drags me inside new shell
fashion husk
dangerous
lick of ice
melting through my fingertips

i sleep in nails
and fuck myself
when i can’t be bothered to
be a kid

i just want you to know who i am
because i want
scars
tearing
down
your
cheeks

 

JD Jurado -Phantom is about chasing familiar sensations, trying to feel things you’ve felt before.

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

 

#poems #poetry #writers #creativewriting #Tuesdaymotivation #tuesdaythoughts

 

 

 

 

 

Discard Directly After Use

girl in field
Photo by Gustav Lundborg on Pexels.com

 

“you’re worthless”
creates shivers through my skin
crooked like conjecture
waived through crude gestures
with a certain word
leaving me unhinged

sordid and eroded
addicting deprivation
pervades this dampened prison
purrs
gleams and glistens
devoted
indentured
with absolute submission
the hand seldom clutched culls yours with derision

KILL IT
before it endures senseless beatings
ordeals given meaning
sleaze that deletes these trifling conniptions
pressed against leather and honest mistakes
hypocrite
keepsake
slackens then
lapped like a mollusk
with prolonged lashes
its backbone demolished

it’s grotesque
the way her head dips back when i possess her
my predilection
becomes addiction
and i detest
this ache
it’s senseless
makes me obsessed with this
dampened prison

ember fireflies
solemn afterglow
sandman with perverse anatomy
become or succumb to pillory
either way these pipe dreams are poised to ruin me

i’m the candle burnt at both ends
your hysterics
sealed and waxed
never opened until now
don’t make me beg for anguish
neither cringe nor bow
to your will
won’t bend over backwards
to defend this
purity
but all good things that have come to pass
burn and melt and vanish

we endlessly spiral this tangled pursuit
of joyless artifice and matters dissolute
mind no matters that pervert and pollute
purity; precious
but practically pointless
chastity; cheerless
indulgence absolute
writhing
wretched
her figure defective
her allegiances etched onto where joyless is joyous

abusive
bitter
but leaking pleasant hormones
reach another capstone
between cheek and collarbone
strained between a capstan
and threaded through her waistband
au jus
sweat
cologne
tiny breaths
quivers
creates shivers

naïve and bleached psyche
prison walls hug me tightly
fetishize unworldly being
knows what i mean but
know not me
symbolic gesture
an affectionate thing
unfortunately lacks
all semblance
of any true meaning

i’m in the darkest place
lying there beside you
i’m stranded on your perfect face
you laugh
smile
“i hate you”

pil-lo-ry
verb –attack or ridicule publicly. 

noun- A wooden framework with holes for the head and hands, in which an offender was imprisoned and exposed to public abuse. 

JD-Jurado- It’s about keeping distance within intimate relationships.

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

 

#poems #poetry #writers #creativewriting #goodmorningmonday #Mondaymoods

 

Shattered Departure

poetry ideas
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 the name of this poem is shattered departure
the name of this poem will be shattered departure

 why?

why must this departure be shattered?
would it not be a reprise?
a refrain?

what does it rhyme with?

shat-ter-ed
de-par-ture
shi-ny
like ar-mor
sig-ni-fi-cant
oth-er

 …a different name
perhaps

 ballad of the broken hearts… or lonely midnights

 no, that doesn’t seem right

 maybe i’ll choose the title last

the poem begins with a bang, not a whimper
an exclamation
not a question

some transcendental quote
to denote
that, either, or encapsulate some profound, nameless thing

“time
wastes itself
waiting on dreamers

takes itself
seriously
killing free-thinkers”

 …no, that’s terrible
i’m starting over
from SCRATCH this time

maybe it won’t be so bad
this time?

time rhymes with time
but you can’t do that twice
you can’t rhyme time with time
or rhyme with rhyme
time after time
or use the same rhyme twice
otherwise, it’s like
why even rhyme?

 oh, that’s right

you don’t really have to
so, why even rhyme?

 
okay, i’ve got it

“painful memories
scar my heart
and remind me of you

the shadow of time
eclipses my
perception”

 i’m starting over again

“shattered departure
shattered like ice
fractured reflection
splintered like…”

 
no

where do i actually start?

“there was nothing
then there was something
a flicker
a spark
then there was everything
then there was you”

 but i don’t need the big bang to precede some stanza about a bad relationship

i don’t need a bang
i need a whimper

“i loved you
but i couldn’t bring myself to forgive you”

but that last part is a lie
that isn’t true at all

so i start over again
look down at what i have, which is nothing

 put the pencil down again

 “the name of this poem is shattered departure”

i pause
i’ll choose the title last

JD- A poem about picking words before picking their meaning, and picking a title before writing the story.  

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

#poems #poetry #writers #art #creativewriting # stories #mondaymorning

Chronos, the girl

milky way at night
Photo by WARREN BLAKE on Pexels.com

 

into and out of

time, with neither sense nor discretion

lost in the flaps and the folds

where wrinkles ignite like coal

coalesce like moths when they find things

like white lights or brilliant lightning

jeweled like snow or glimmering gold

follows bright stars to lead them back home

without cardinal direction

deformed in arcane dimensions

searching for something beyond

someplace she did not belong

 

from spaceless black

a crack of light appears

and through its aperture, a voice is heard

having endured oblivion

once before

this voyager asks for a girl

fingers stretched towards sparkling fissure

eyes wide and spotlessly shimmer

cracks contort like thunder bolts

distorts then disappears

alone

 

co-a-lesce
verb: come together to form one  mass or whole.

JD – Chronos, the girl, is about a time traveler who gets lost.

 

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

#poems #poetry #writers #art #creativewriting #stories #Mondaymooods

Sleeping Inside The Angel

man standing near snow field
Photo by Tobias Bju00f8rkli on Pexels.com

 

again

winding buildings
fold and rest
in a forest of splintered neon trails
wrapped and coiled in
arbitrary collections

phantoms cast shadows
underneath the glow of smoldering white windows
the monolithic eyes of gnarled hands
pluck their attention
with deliberate purpose

wading through concrete jungles
garbage roads
through this waterfall of noise
rivers of shambling no-names
all gathered in curious clusters
scraping beside
bamboo lead pipes

screens reflecting fantasies
vision girls brushing their fingertips on one-way mirrors
the blackest nights
punctuated by digital glasses
all looking in
and over
and running over
every inch
of skin

around dark circles
and darker passages
underneath lime-tinted moons
between pillars shooting into starless skies
conversations between voices
without strangers attached
to them

moods
pressed into quivering palms
and kissed
with palpitating lips
looking at horizons located beneath
grids

empty rooms
and lonely people
plugged into happy moments
and crying

JD – This poem is about a nightmare about the future. 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

#poems #poetry #art #creativewriting #stories #Mondaymoods

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Center Nowhere

afterglow avian backlit birds
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

 it’s chills when i get close but
it’s nowhere to be found,
when i brush that bad word
i stop myself from
jotting down it

 some things are meant to be forgotten

 i’m really not
articulating that very well

on purpose?

 do you hear lightning before or after it strikes?

 how does that bitch know when a quake is coming?

my hands get really cold sometimes
and i get really gangrene sometimes
and i say the wrong things sometimes
because it’s the same thing
i find
that you face
over and over
looking at the same thing
over and over
before it makes sense

when it does
tell me where its meaning went

 

JD- Center Nowhere is about not knowing if you love someone or not. 

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

#poem #poetry #art #creativewriting #stories #Mondaymoods

What happens next?

20190309_083526

it was yesterday
(no it wasn’t
but it felt like it)
when you told me
“i can’t picture myself in the future
with anybody else but you”

and that made my heart stop
because i could see myself in the future
absolutely
with a hundred different people
and a hundred different outcomes
but i couldn’t see you

that hurt me bad
the same way you would’ve hurt yourself if i would’ve said what i said here
my future is clear
but my conscience isn’t
what i said
is not what i meant

i remember when you said
(you didn’t say this
because you can’t)
“my love is an ocean
bountiful in bloom as can be”
i would have told you to stop it
it was too sappy to be sweet
and you would’ve laughed
and i’d have laughed
but that wouldn’t be me

how many times haven’t i been able to tread waters
when i’m in too deep
and it pulls me even further
and then i can’t breathe
and it holds me even tighter
and i can feel my head
get lighter
and lighter

i couldn’t write poetry
because with every line i was choking
suffocating to myself
until the stanza derailed
and i could breathe again

it takes me back to then
(back then, yesterday
where i would have…

…you know?)
with your temple pressed against my chest
and my heart beating two times too fast
when i wanted to say something
but then you said it for me

“i can’t picture myself in the future
with anybody else but you”
(that you said
this next part isn’t me)
“otherwise i’d be dead”
and you would’ve laughed
and i’d have laughed
but that wasn’t you
and that wasn’t true

that’s yesterday in my head
today i’m looking at you
wide-eyed and splendid, with an entire life ahead
(me too)
that i can’t picture
spending with (anybody else but) you

because when i looked at you back then
i knew i’d already killed you
truth was the final blow
(that i know)
and so
i lied
and we’re alive

tomorrow
you’ll be on your own again
looking for love again
and i’ll be on my own
with a future ahead
we leave behind
free to unwind
free to live
on another road

JD- What Happens Next is about not knowing what to do when you haven’t chosen someone else but they’ve chosen you.

© JD Jurado 2019

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