Empath Fatigue

fairy fake empathy
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i got what i wanted
now i wish i didn’t have it
raised to be rotten
risqué mister maverick

opaque sadist
samey when sedated
taken with the lumps
inside of gilded cages

quick and painless
prairie dog princess
aegis was a fake
so all your bark is forfeit

torque spit
cork it
make a body worthless
fork it over
so i can snap its halo

lay low
ankle biters stick to pay-phones
stake more
hate me
i’ll blow up if you say so

jd-jurado – Empath Fatigue is about someone pretending to have empathy for other people

JD Jurado © all rights reserved 2020

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Phantom

clear close up cold cool
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boy, it’s easy
to be a problem
to be a thorn in your side
i’m a ghost
never had to be a fight
only had to be
right there

i can feel hearts on fire
because your chest
is unbelievably warm

i’m myself when allotted permissions
and i pine for nothing
when i heel for bliss
angst is not a feeling i’m familiar with
at all

slow burn
hurts my mind
drags me inside new shell
fashion husk
dangerous
lick of ice
melting through my fingertips

i sleep in nails
and fuck myself
when i can’t be bothered to
be a kid

i just want you to know who i am
because i want
scars
tearing
down
your
cheeks

 

JD Jurado -Phantom is about chasing familiar sensations, trying to feel things you’ve felt before.

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

 

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Shattered Departure

poetry ideas
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 the name of this poem is shattered departure
the name of this poem will be shattered departure

 why?

why must this departure be shattered?
would it not be a reprise?
a refrain?

what does it rhyme with?

shat-ter-ed
de-par-ture
shi-ny
like ar-mor
sig-ni-fi-cant
oth-er

 …a different name
perhaps

 ballad of the broken hearts… or lonely midnights

 no, that doesn’t seem right

 maybe i’ll choose the title last

the poem begins with a bang, not a whimper
an exclamation
not a question

some transcendental quote
to denote
that, either, or encapsulate some profound, nameless thing

“time
wastes itself
waiting on dreamers

takes itself
seriously
killing free-thinkers”

 …no, that’s terrible
i’m starting over
from SCRATCH this time

maybe it won’t be so bad
this time?

time rhymes with time
but you can’t do that twice
you can’t rhyme time with time
or rhyme with rhyme
time after time
or use the same rhyme twice
otherwise, it’s like
why even rhyme?

 oh, that’s right

you don’t really have to
so, why even rhyme?

 
okay, i’ve got it

“painful memories
scar my heart
and remind me of you

the shadow of time
eclipses my
perception”

 i’m starting over again

“shattered departure
shattered like ice
fractured reflection
splintered like…”

 
no

where do i actually start?

“there was nothing
then there was something
a flicker
a spark
then there was everything
then there was you”

 but i don’t need the big bang to precede some stanza about a bad relationship

i don’t need a bang
i need a whimper

“i loved you
but i couldn’t bring myself to forgive you”

but that last part is a lie
that isn’t true at all

so i start over again
look down at what i have, which is nothing

 put the pencil down again

 “the name of this poem is shattered departure”

i pause
i’ll choose the title last

JD- A poem about picking words before picking their meaning, and picking a title before writing the story.  

 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

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Sleeping Inside The Angel

man standing near snow field
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again

winding buildings
fold and rest
in a forest of splintered neon trails
wrapped and coiled in
arbitrary collections

phantoms cast shadows
underneath the glow of smoldering white windows
the monolithic eyes of gnarled hands
pluck their attention
with deliberate purpose

wading through concrete jungles
garbage roads
through this waterfall of noise
rivers of shambling no-names
all gathered in curious clusters
scraping beside
bamboo lead pipes

screens reflecting fantasies
vision girls brushing their fingertips on one-way mirrors
the blackest nights
punctuated by digital glasses
all looking in
and over
and running over
every inch
of skin

around dark circles
and darker passages
underneath lime-tinted moons
between pillars shooting into starless skies
conversations between voices
without strangers attached
to them

moods
pressed into quivering palms
and kissed
with palpitating lips
looking at horizons located beneath
grids

empty rooms
and lonely people
plugged into happy moments
and crying

JD – This poem is about a nightmare about the future. 

© JD Jurado 2019 all rights reserved.

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Afterward

silhouette photo of black sailing ship
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wherever you may be
trapped
scared
or lonesome

 recount these words
to bring yourself good fortune:
“our will is as the ward does
we commit ourselves to purpose
our words will be a promise
so long as each is honest”

may your firelight burn bright
may the lanterns lead you home
we’re all ships at sea
you see
in search of Avalon

may your purpose find you
may you find your peace

 every piece of me pines too
but all i want
are things i don’t need

 

Avalon
noun literally meaning “the isle of fruit (or apple) trees”. A legendary island featured in the Athurian legend. Avalon was associated from an early date with mystical practices and figures such as Moran le Fay. It is traditionally identified as the former island of Glastonbury Tor

JD- I wrote this piece as a charm for good luck and hope.

© 2018

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Black

This  poem was inspired by nightmares.

blackwpid-20131122_091936_wm1

dreams slow
blurry
distorted
amorphous black

celestial hands
rupture this fragile firmament
our pale sky leaks
nefarious black

first crack
thunder
a thousand bleeding pinhole eyes
puncture this flimsy veil
each streaks mill
lambent yellow
drowns the ants below

moon drops
second crack
dome shatters-
after this exists none

yet every direction is unlocked
every detail tickles

a garden of tongues
caress this violated crown
laps its meridian
mangles its meaningless fangs
in the fickle fabric
then tears it all away

inside shrink the diminutive soul
that folds into infinity
and eats itself whole

fir-ma-ment
noun the heavens or the sky, especially when regarded as a tangible thing.

© 2019

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